Promise
by Corinth
Summary: JC, EO. Casey always makes John promise her that he will be careful before he leaves for work, and he always returns safely home to her...until he is gunned down and severely injured six weeks before their wedding.
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing.

A/N: Ok, here it is. More JC, because I can't stop myself. Not much drama in this first chapter, just an opportunity for us all to be like, "Aw, they love each other! Yay!" But just wait. Lol.

* * *

Casey stepped into the shower, not bothering to let the water get warm first. Taking cold showers was one of her odd quirks; it reminded her of being caught in the rain. She used hot water only at the last moment before she got out, just to get warm. Cold water pounding down on her was much better at releasing tension.

She stood under the spray, not moving, for a full five minutes before finally shampooing her hair. As she was rinsing it, she heard the front door unlock and the unmistakable sounds of John's arrival.

Casey often heard that people grew bored with their partners after life became predictable. She did not agree with that. She loved that she could recognize every sound…the jingle of his keys as he set them on the table by the door, the dull thud of his briefcase as he leaned it against the wall, the seven footfalls on the wood floor before he reached the carpet and the noises ceased.

She sighed, finally able to relax after her trying day. She was thankful that she could tell John about it over dinner. She turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around herself, stepping out into the hallway between the bathroom and her bedroom. "Hey!" she called.

"Hi! Do you want to go out to dinner?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing. Just let me get dressed." She went into her room and opened her closet, pulling out a green dress with black lace around the hem. Before she could put it on, however, she felt John's arm's snake around her waist and his lips attach themselves to her neck.

"You're freezing," he murmured against her skin, making her shiver.

"Yep," she said back, involuntarily letting out a soft moan as he kissed her throat. "If you don't stop, we're never going to get out of here."

"You have a rather high opinion of your sexual longevity if you think we'd be stuck here forever once we started."

"I'm hungry," she said, smirking. She pulled herself out of John's grasp and dropped her towel, slowly pulling on her dress while keeping her eyes fixed on his.

"Cruel, cruel woman. Harlot, actually."

Pretending to ignore him, Casey ran a brush through her hair several times and applied only the smallest amount of makeup, lining her eyes and brushing on some mascara. "I'm ready," she said as she put on some lip gloss and grabbed her coat.

John smiled. "Amazing." He made to go to the door, but Casey stopped him by spinning him around and pressing her lips to his.

When she moved away almost a minute later, she said softly, "Hi."

By the look in John's eyes, she knew that he had figured out that she was upset about something that had happened that day. She was not very forthcoming about her emotions, but he knew by that point in their relationship that whenever Casey was particularly aggressive, there was something on her mind. He did not ask what the problem was, but Casey knew he would once they were at the restaurant.

They took a taxi to Dominico's, an Italian place a few miles away. As soon as they were seated and had ordered waters and their food, Casey felt John's eyes on her and she lifted her head to meet his gaze.

"So do you want to tell me what's going on?"

She nodded. "The case that I have tomorrow…guess who the opposing counsel is?"

John looked completely nonplussed. "Who?"

"Neal Gilmore."

John's eyes widened. "Isn't he the one who is always asking you out?"

"Yeah."

"I hate him."

Casey smiled, spinning the diamond ring on her finger around once. "I know."

"So is it just the prospect of seeing him tomorrow, or did he do something?"

She shrugged, taking a sip of her water. "He told me to wear a short skirt so he'll have something to do when I'm doing the questioning. I told him to screw himself and he said he'd rather screw me." She regarded John for a moment, taking in his reddening face and the way his hands were both clenching into fists. "Want to go caveman on him and take a club to his head?"

John scoffed. "You have no idea. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, it just pisses me off that he has to make me dread this case even more. I mean, it's bad enough that he's defending a guy who tortured, raped, and killed his wife, but then he has this inability to back off when I tell him to." She laughed. "Remember Judge Taft and how he told me that I had to be properly dressed in his courtroom? In a skirt? I can't help thinking of that."

"I'm about to go all feminist on you," John said. "It's ridiculous that men can disrespect a prosecutor like that, just because you're female."

Casey smiled. "Aw, John, want to make posters with me and picket the courthouse? We can sing Melissa Ethridge songs and cry."

"You bet." He took her hand and smiled at the ring. "Tell Gilmore that your fiancé has a gun."

"Good idea." Their food arrived and they split John's lasagna and Casey's chicken marsala. "Well," Casey continued a few minutes later, "the next time he makes any comment that I don't like, I hope I'm holding my briefcase so I can turn around and accidentally nail him somewhere above the knees and below the waist."

"His voice would be high for weeks, what with that softball swing you've got."

"That's the plan." She rested her chin on her hand, surveying him in the flickering candlelight. "I'm glad you got tonight off. No cases?"

"We wrapped one up today. Good timing too; Elliot and Liv were talking about going out tonight."

"Not dating my ass."

John smirked slightly. "Even Cragen thinks they are. However, as long as it's not 'official'…there's nothing he can really do about it. They've been joined at the hip for years. It's not much different now. At least not in the office. I won't attest to what they do on their own time."

"Good call."

They finished eating and returned to Casey's apartment where they got into bed. Casey got settled on her side and John slung his arm across her waist, his stomach pressed against her back. "I'm going to head out pretty early tomorrow," she said, "so I'll see you tomorrow night."

"Alright." He kissed her neck. "Good luck in court."

"Thanks." She turned slightly so she could kiss him. "Be careful," she said, as she did every day before he left for work.

"I will be. I love you."

"Love you too."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Just a couple things to clear up. First of all, for those of you who are reading all my JC stories, they are not all part of the same story. The same Casey was not buried alive, stalked by Charlie, abducted by Weber, and about to deal with John getting shot. All the stories stand alone. Also, I'm not a doctor. I'm just a stupid teenager, so if anything medical is inaccurate, I apologize. But that's why this is fanfiction! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

* * *

John walked into the precinct and was immediately handed a cup of coffee by Fin. John looked at in surprise. "Thanks, Fin. I almost feel guilty." He paused. "Nope, it passed."

Fin smirked. "Don't thank me. I'm just savin' all of us from that shit you call coffee. You know, it's not World War Two anymore. Ersatz is out."

"I use real coffee."

"Hard to believe. Tastes like dirt."

John looked at his cup thoughtfully. "Think this is hot enough to hurt if it was poured over someone's head?"

"Naw."

They sat down at their adjoining desks and waited for Elliot, Olivia, and Cragen to show up. Cragen, it transpired, was in his office, and he came into the bullpen just as his other two detectives came in.

"Alright, guys, this is a big one. I just got off the phone with Officer Peters and he said Patrick Stavros jumped bail."

Elliot stared at Cragen. "That maniac got bail? What the hell was the judge thinking?"

Cragen rolled his eyes, shrugging. Stavros was suspected of raping his young daughter and two of her friends. "Ties to the community. He's a doctor with a large family in the area."

"Of course, the judge might have taken into account his _inappropriate_ tie to his daughter," John said dryly, shaking his head. "How are we going to find this guy? He could be anywhere."

"The judge at least had the presence of mind to take his passport and his family, like so many fine New Yorkers, doesn't own a car. Coast guard is looking out for him and taxi drivers have been warned. Unis saw a man matching his description a few minutes ago and they need your help tracking him. Get going."

Without another word, the four detectives set out to the string of warehouses where Stavros was sighted.

Fin was nervous as they drove. He always was, even though he hid it well. Chases were unpredictable and dangerous, and he never quite got used to them. None of them did.

They reached the warehouses and some officers directed them to the warehouse Stavros had entered. John motioned to Olivia and Fin to go around and try to find other entrances and prevent the perp from escaping while he and Elliot went in the door right in front of them. The other officers stationed themselves around the watch for accomplices and getaway cars.

Fin hurried around the metal structure with Olivia close behind him. They found no other doors by the time they reached the back of the building and they were just about to continue along around the perimeter when they heard three gunshots.

Fin turned to Olivia in alarm and they both sprinted back the way they had come to the doors where Elliot and John had entered. Fin kicked the door open and ran between some shelves, his gun ready to shoot the perp if the need arose.

When he rounded a corner, he saw Stavros spread-eagled on the ground, blood oozing from a bullet hole in his chest. A single bullet hole.

The other two shots were explained by the horrific sight in front of Fin. He heard Olivia gasp as she came up behind him and the two of them darted forward.

Elliot was pressing his hands to John's chest, a pained expression on his face as blood poured from a wound on his upper arm. John's shirt was already soaked with his own blood. His eyes were closed but he appeared to still be conscious.

Fin dropped to his knees and took Elliot's spot, alarmed at how quickly his hands became stained with red. Olivia ripped Elliot's shirt off and used a torn piece of it to apply a tourniquet above the bullet hole. She gripped her walkie-talkie and shouted into it for a bus to come immediately.

Elliot was pale and dazed but did not appear to be in much danger. John, on the other hand, was wheezing for breath, his skin growing paler by the second. "Hang on, John," Fin ordered him, pressing his hands even harder over the hole. "Bus is almost here."

John did not reply, of course, but he coughed and blood spattered his shirt. Fin's eyes sought Olivia's and they exchanged fearful glances. John's lung had been grazed, at least, by the bullet.

"Come on. Stay with me. Stay with me, John."

They heard sirens and in less than a minute paramedics were flooding the warehouse, transferring Elliot and John to gurneys. John coughed once more and then his head lolled to the side. He was unconscious.

Fin was pulled back as a paramedic started tending to John's wound, and Olivia was likewise removed from her partner's side. Fin felt her swaying and gripped her arm, steadying her. "Let's go," he said weakly, and they hurried to his car so they could follow the ambulances to the hospital.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Just to clear up some confusion people seem to be having...Elliot's arm was shot, and John got hit in the chest. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

Cragen was waiting for them at the hospital. As soon as Olivia and Fin entered, he hurried over to them and grabbed both of their shoulders as if to convince himself that they were still standing. He was incredibly pale after seeing two of his detectives wheeled by him moments before, one in critical condition.

"They took them into surgery. Elliot's going to be fine. John…." He did not tell them the prognosis. All three of them knew John's life was in danger. Cragen looked at them, taking in the blood on their hands and clothes. "Go get cleaned up," he ordered, and they obeyed.

Fin washed his hands in the restroom, watching the red water disappear down the drain. Soon every trace of the blood was gone, except for the smell. Fin almost gagged it was so strong.

His head started spinning and he grasped the edges of the sink, taking several deep breaths. Guilt was gnawing away at his heart. He was sure Olivia was feeling the same way…except her partner was not in danger of dying. Fin looked into the mirror and realized with a jolt that he had to tell Casey.

Without wasting another second, Fin returned to the waiting room and found Cragen pacing, his hands buried in his pockets and his head hanging. "Cap," Fin said. Cragen stopped and looked at him, so Fin continued. "I've gotta get Casey."

Cragen shook his head. "Stay with your partner. I'll go get her."

"Sorry, Cap, but she needs to hear this from Liv or me. I'm not gonna ask Olivia to leave her partner, but…well, John's in surgery. I'll be back with her before he gets out."

The captain paused for a second, considering, but then he agreed with a curt nod. Fin left without a word and got into his car. He looked at the clock and knew that Casey was probably just getting done with the trial. He would try to find her at the courthouse before he went to her office.

His heart was pounding the whole way there. He was worried about John, but he was also hugely concerned about Casey and how she would take the news that her fiancé was barely clinging to life.

Fin was in love with Casey. He would never dream of acting on it; he would never betray John like that. He knew they were happy together, and he was happy that John finally found someone he truly loved and who reciprocated. John deserved that. But it did not stop Fin from loving Casey. He did not want to give her the bad news, but someone had to. Someone had to do the hurting.

He pulled up in front of the courthouse and was somewhat relieved but mostly terrified to see Casey coming down the steps, her blue coat flapping slightly in the breeze. He quickly got out of the car and stood in front of it, waiting for her to see him. He did not want to go to her and tell her there. He would wait until she was at the car so no one else would overhear.

He saw Casey stop for a second and he knew that she had seen him and was confused by his presence. She started walking toward him, her pace slightly faster than it had been. When she finally reached him, her forehead was furrowed in concern. "Fin? What are you doing here?"

Fin took a deep breath. "We were after a perp. He shot Elliot and John. John's not lookin' too good."

Casey stared at him. Her normally pale skin lost what little color it had to begin with, and she swayed slightly. Fin knew she was too stubborn to ask for support, too prideful to sit down, but that did not mean he was going to let her fall. He wrapped his arms around her neck, shielding her from the cold wind if not from the horror of his news.

After a moment, he felt her hands come up and rest below his shoulder blades and she buried her face in his shoulder. "How's Elliot?" she asked softly, her voice muffled.

"He's gonna be fine."

"What happened?"

Fin knew she was now referring to John. "Took the hit in his chest. Hit his lung. He's in surgery now."

Casey pulled back and ran her hands over Fin's arms, her eyes moving over his face and torso, as if checking him for bullet holes. "Are you ok?"

Fin nodded as the guilt continued eating away at him. "I'm sorry," he said, desperate to make Casey see that it was his fault that John might die. He wanted her to be mad at him; he would rather see anger in her eyes than the pain that was currently residing there.

She looked at him incredulously. "You're sorry?"

He nodded again, not quite able to meet her eyes. "He's my partner. I'm supposed to have his back. If he's hurt, I should be too."

Casey was silent for a few seconds, but then Fin felt her arms around him again, pulling him to her. "Don't be sorry. I'm so glad you're ok," she said gently. She stepped back. "Let's go."

At that moment, Fin saw a defense attorney he knew by sight but not by name approaching. He inclined his head at the man so Casey would notice him, and she turned around.

"What the hell do you want?" she asked sharply.

Gilmore smiled unkindly. "Is this your driver?" he asked, indicating Fin.

Color returned to Casey's cheeks. She took a step closer to the man. "What, just because he's black, he must be my _driver_? Detective Tutuola is giving me a ride out of kindness, not that it's anything you can relate to. Or any of your business."

"You're not sleeping with him, are you? You're too pretty for him."

Casey shook her head, positively fuming. "Get away from me," she said venomously, turning from him and getting in the car. Fin followed suit. He was, of course, offended by Gilmore's words, but he was more concerned about Casey.

"I'm sorry, Fin," she said as they pulled away.

"Don't be. Let's get you to John."

She squeezed his hands briefly, unknowingly sending ripples of joy through him. "Thank you."


	4. Chapter 4

Casey followed Fin into the hospital waiting room where Cragen was still pacing and Olivia was sitting with her head against the wall. Cragen's eyes seemed glued to the floor while Olivia's was gazing steadfastly at the ceiling. Both of them looked over as Casey and Fin approached, however.

Olivia immediately rose to her feet, going to Casey and throwing her arms around her. "How's Elliot?" Casey asked, trying to stay strong. Crying would not help John. She was determined to hold back her tears until she no longer had an audience.

"He's fine. He'll be out of here tomorrow morning."

"Good." She noticed that Olivia was holding back her own happiness out of respect for Casey's fear. "It's ok," Casey said, trying to smile. "I know you're worried about John too, but be happy about Elliot."

Olivia nodded. "Ok." She sighed, leading Casey over to a chair and sitting next to her. Fin chose a chair across from them and Cragen finally abandoned his path from the wall to the table and back. He slumped down next to Fin.

"Perp's dead," Fin told Casey after a few minutes of silence.

"Good," she said again, not knowing how else to respond. She could hardly think; the image of John lying in his own blood kept forcing itself into the forefront of her mind. She knew his job was dangerous, but somehow she never thought he would die on the job. He had made it for years without even being seriously injured. She let herself believe that he was always going to be lucky, and part of her really believed that as long as she told him to be careful and he promised he would be, nothing bad could happen. Other cops got killed, but he would never be one of them.

She sighed, leaning forward and resting her head on her hands. She was not sure what she was feeling. There was fear, of course, but mostly she was just in shock. None of it seemed real. She knew that the others were telling her the truth, that the whole thing was not a cruel joke, but she still did not exactly believe that John was in danger. Their wedding was in six weeks. John would not abandon her…but she reminded herself that he had been shot. It was not a choice.

She withdrew her hands into her sleeves, a nervous habit. When she had a case she was particularly worried about, she made sure to wear a jacket with three-quarter length sleeves so her hands had nowhere to retreat and betray her uneasiness.

At that moment a doctor came toward them and Casey stopped breathing. She felt her companions tense up as well. However, the doctor had no news of John, good or bad. He told them that Elliot was out of surgery and was awake. The four of them immediately rose and went to see him, Olivia hardly able to contain her joy. Casey smiled slightly, thinking of what John would have to say about the less than innocent reunion Olivia and Elliot were about to have, and how Cragen would pretend not to notice. She then realized that she might never hear John's voice again.

She almost fell over but then she felt Fin's hand on the small of her back, guiding her and comforting her. It was almost as if he knew the thought that had just entered her mind. He did not offer any empty encouragement, but just having him there was immensely helpful to Casey. She continued following the doctor without a word.

The doctor agreed to let all of them visit Elliot at once, but only for five minutes. Then only one person would be allowed to stay. They all knew it would be Olivia, but Cragen would pretend it was for no reason other than their partnership.

Elliot was propped up in bed, slightly paler than usual and looking tired. It scared Casey to see him like that. Elliot was always so tough, so unflappable. It was unnerving to see him weak.

Olivia did not throw herself at Elliot, but she looked like she wanted to. Casey felt bad for her. She and John were breaking no rules by being in a relationship and therefore they did not have to be careful. They were anyway, but it was not a constant source of worry as it was for the two detectives. When…if…John woke up, Casey would want nothing more than to kiss him until she could no longer breathe, and nothing would stop her. Olivia did not have that luxury.

The look in Elliot's eyes as he regarded Olivia was proof enough of their love for anyone who saw, and Casey noticed that Cragen was suddenly very interested in the IV stand.

Elliot gave one of his small smiles, and Casey felt much of her unease lift. He was fine. He would be back to cracking jokes and beating up perps in no time. It was hugely good news.

"Hey Cap," Elliot said, shaking hands with Cragen.

"Glad you're ok, Elliot," he responded with a smile.

"Fin. Casey." His expression saddened as he looked at the A.D.A. "I'm so sorry," he said softly. "I got him as I went down, but it was too late."

Casey shook her head. "What is it with you cops and taking the blame for everything? Your job is dangerous. John knows that." Her voice cracked as she said her fiancé's name, and she took a deep breath to maintain her composure. She smiled at him. It was genuine, but that did not stop it from hurting. "I'm so glad you weren't hurt worse."

"Thanks."

They spoke idly for a few more minutes, trying to forget that they were in a hospital with John's life hanging in the balance, until the doctor returned and asked that all but one of them leave. Fin, Cragen, and Casey acquiesced and left Olivia with Elliot. Casey smiled slightly as she shut the door, seeing Olivia sink onto the bed and kiss Elliot.

The three of them returned to the waiting room but Cragen's phone rang on the way. He spoke briefly and then hung up, turning to Fin and Casey. "We've got a case," he said tiredly, and Fin nodded.

"I'll call Olivia and tell her."

Cragen agreed, but he looked as though he regretted having to pull Olivia away from Elliot so soon.

Casey said, "Don't call her. I'll go tell her, and I'll stay with Elliot. The doctors will know where to find me if…." She trailed off, unable to finish the sentence, unsure of what she meant to say.

Cragen's eyes were full of sadness and pity as he nodded at her. He went out to his car, followed by Fin. Before Fin left, however, he hugged Casey one more time. "Hang in there. He's tough, and he loves you. He'll fight as long and hard as he can."

Casey smiled sadly. "Thanks, Fin." She watched him until he disappeared through the sliding doors, then she started back up the stairs to Elliot's room. She appreciated that Fin had not said John would, without question, survive. She would much rather have honesty than deluded hope. Everything Fin said was true; John _would_ fight. If he had promised her that John would make it, Casey would not trust him. There were no guarantees.


	5. Chapter 5

True to her word, Casey took Olivia's place at Elliot's side. They wiled away the time talking and playing chess on a board a nurse provided. Elliot knew the rules of the game but had no idea as to strategy. Casey would have beaten him handily any day, but it was even more unbalanced as a result of the pain medication Elliot was on. He had a hard time concentrating. However, so did Casey. Her thoughts kept returning to John.

"I had no idea we had the next Bobby Fisher on our hands," Elliot joked as Casey took one of his bishops.

She raised her eyebrows. "Your opinion of our skills is highly inflated. I'm only good compared to you. Nothing worth writing home about."

He laughed. "But you seem to actually have a plan. I'm just moving the pieces where I know they're allowed to go."

"I'm a prosecutor. We live for tactics. Chess is too symbolic for me to be completely clueless."

Elliot moved one of his pawns into a ridiculous position. Casey smirked, and Elliot chuckled again. "Whatever. I'd ask you to explain the symbolism, but I don't think my brain can take it right now."

"I doubt it." She ruthlessly knocked over his pawn.

"Is that amount of force really necessary?" he asked as the pawn spun several times and fell off the board."

"Elliot Stabler is accusing _me_ of excessive force? I hope the meds aren't so strong that the irony is lost on you."

"Oh no, I get it. It's like ray-yee-ain on your wedding day."

Casey was amused by his Alanis Morrisette impression, but the word 'wedding' brought her focus back to John…she wondered if their wedding would still take place. She bit her lip. "The wait is killing me," she said softly, toying with her queen.

Elliot nodded. "I know it's got to be hard." His voice was gentle, and Casey could not help smiling a little.

Wanting to turn the conversation light again, she leaned her chin on her hand and fixed him with her most intimidating stare. "So, Detective…what's with you and Olivia?"

He looked at her for a second before he rubbed his nose, his guilty and evasive tic. "Nothing."

"Right, it's just a partner thing. Fin and John kiss all the time too."

He reddened. "You saw that?"

"Yeah. Just me though. But you're fooling yourselves if you think no one knows about it. We all do. Hell, Don knows, but he's doing his best to ignore it so he doesn't have to tell IAB."

He sighed, a small smile curling his lips. "Fine. I'm in love with her. You mean Liv hasn't told you? You're her best friend!"

"She's lied to me repeatedly, and most unconvincingly. I just wanted to hear you admit it."

"Damn you, Novak."

They smiled at each other for a few seconds before returning to the chess game. Casey was glad she could distract herself, at least partially, by being with Elliot. It was good for both of them, and she always enjoyed his company anyway.

Casey won, unsurprisingly, and just as they were setting up the board to play again, the doctor came in. Casey's eyes snapped to him, and Elliot sat up a little straighter.

"Detective Munch is out of surgery."

"Is he awake?" Casey asked shakily. Making it out of surgery alive was a good first step toward a full recovery, but she would not be at ease until he opened his eyes. Actually, she did not think she would be truly happy until he kissed her and made her his wife.

"No. It is encouraging that he survived the surgery, but he still has a long way to go. He's on oxygen and will be until the lung is stronger. We don't want to put undue stress on it. He lost a lot of blood and required a transfusion. We treated the shock. All we can do now is wait."

"Can I see him?"

"Yes. I will take you to his room."

Casey immediately got to her feet. "Elliot, do you mind if I leave?"

He smiled. "Case, of course not. Go."

She returned his smile and followed the doctor out into the hall. He continued talking to her about John's condition the whole way there. "Has your father ever been injured on the job before?"

It took Casey a second to realize he was referring to John. She almost laughed at her fiancé being called her father. It was a fairly common occurrence, however. Both she and John were aware that their age difference was relatively extreme. "Never very seriously," she replied, not bothering to clear up the misunderstanding. She did not give a damn who the doctor thought she was as long as she was allowed to see John.

"Here we are," the doctor said, and he opened the door for her before heading off down another hallway.

Casey quickly entered and immediately felt her heart drop into her stomach. John's face was partly covered by an oxygen mask. His eyes were closed and somewhat swollen. His face was drawn and pale, and he looked older than she had ever seen him before. It terrified her.

She pulled a chair up to the side of his bed and sat down, carefully taking his hand in hers. His skin was cold and it startled her. She was almost constantly cold, especially her hands, and John's grip was invariably strong and warm…protecting.

She ran her thumb over his cool skin, trying to hold back her tears. Soon the pain in her throat became too much and she gave in. She allowed herself to cry, releasing a large part of the terror that had gripped her from the moment she saw Fin at the courthouse. "John," she whispered, tracing his hairline with the tip of her index finger. "Hang on, baby."


	6. Chapter 6

Casey remained by John's side for hours, not realizing how much time was passing. There was no change in his condition. His face remained as pale and as pained as it started.

She had long ago stopped crying and the pain and fear had returned full-force. Nurses had been in periodically to check his vitals, but they said very little to Casey. She was alone in her vigil, and the silence was weighing on her. She would give anything to hear John's voice, even if it involved him going off about the government.

She barely noticed the door open but she turned when a chair was pulled up next to her and Fin sat down. She gave him a small smile before looking back at John. "Hey," she said.

"Hey, baby. How's he doin'?"

"Nothing new."

"Here."

Casey glanced over and took the coffee Fin was holding out to her. "Thanks."

"You should eat somethin' too. I brought you a sandwich from Ricci's."

"I'm not hungry."

She heard him sigh. "Casey, it's ten at night. Did you have breakfast?"

"No."

"So you haven't eaten all day. Take it."

She gave in and took the box from him, but she set it on the bedside table without opening it. She sipped the coffee. "You close the case?"

"Yeah. Bastard confessed."

She nodded. "Good." She drank in silence for a few more minutes before looking back at Fin. His face was drawn and he appeared exhausted. "Thanks for coming."

"Of course, baby. I care about both of you."

"Is Olivia with Elliot?"

"Yeah."

Casey smiled at him, her eyes sparkling. "I got him to admit to me that they're in love."

Fin laughed. "Oh yeah? Well, you prosecutors are known for gettin' the truth out of people."

She regarded Fin for a few minutes. She was thankful that the two of them had such a good relationship. He was a very good person and she trusted him implicitly. She also enjoyed their banter and the friendly arguments she, Fin, and John had. "Are you going to visit Elliot?"

Fin got to his feet. "Yeah. Thought I'd drop by."

"If there's anything hanging on the doorknob, don't go in. You might get an eyeful."

"Good advice," he said with a laugh, but then his expression sobered. "Promise me you'll eat somethin'."

"Sure."

"Casey," he warned.

She rolled her eyes, but it was not an unfriendly action. "Yes, Fin."

He nodded and bent down, kissing her forehead. Then he left.

As Fin went on his way to Elliot's room, the smell of Casey's shampoo was clouding his senses. It was some sort of flowery scent, nothing he could give a name to, or at least a name apart from hers. He sighed heavily. It hurt him to see her so scared, and no matter what she said, he felt guilty for John's situation. He wished he had been the one hurt instead.

The door to Elliot's room was open so Fin entered without worrying about walking in on a clandestine romantic encounter. Elliot was sitting up in bed and Olivia's chair was empty.

"Where's Liv?"

Elliot glanced up from the magazine he was reading. "Bathroom. How's it going?"

Fin shrugged, resting his hands on the back of the chair. "Good. Perp confessed. Not much of a headache for Liv and me."

"Yeah, she told me. How're John and Casey?"

"John's the same. Hangin' in there, I guess. Casey's…I dunno. I'm worried about her. I brought her food but she didn't touch it."

He leaned forward and hung his head. The fear in Casey's expressive green eyes was haunting him. "She doesn't deserve to be hurtin', you know? I wish I could do somethin'."

He continued staring down at the blue and gray material of the chair, but he was not really seeing it. Casey's face was the only picture in his mind. At Elliot's next words, however, his eyes snapped up.

"You're in love with her, aren't you?"

Fin stared at him for a second, preparing to refute the allegation, but he found he could not do it. He could not deny his feelings for Casey aloud. Hiding them was not the same as denying them. "Yeah," he finally said, wincing slightly at the pang his admission caused in his heart.

"I'm sorry," Elliot said softly.

Fin shook his head. "I'm not." He could deal with the pain. He could still be happy for John and Casey. They were both so important to him and their happiness meant more to him than his own. Being around Casey, knowing that she loved him but not in the same way, was painful, but it was also wonderful and an experience he looked forward to.

Olivia returned and took up her place at Elliot's side. The three detectives spoke a while longer, joking around as they always did, but everyone present felt John's absence. The four of them were a group. It was completely alien for one of them to be missing.

After about twenty minutes, Fin and Olivia got up to leave. They both had to work the next day so Cragen ordered them to return to their homes and sleep, but Olivia was going to pick Elliot up the next morning. He was going to be on desk duty for a couple of weeks, so Olivia would be partnering Fin until Elliot was completely fit again. None of them discussed what would happen if Fin's partner never returned.

Fin stopped by John's room again on his way out. He opened the door quietly so as not to startle Casey, but he saw upon entering that she was asleep in her chair. She was holding John's hand again.

Fin took off his leather jacket and draped it over Casey, pausing for a moment just to look at her. Her pale skin made her look so angelic. Her golden hair fell gracefully over her shoulders. He reached out and gently stroked a section of it, tucking it behind her ear. His eyes fell on her engagement ring and he smiled. He was going to be John's best man.

He noticed that the food was still unopened. He hoped she would eat it the next morning, but he intended to take her back to her apartment for breakfast anyway. He quickly wrote a note to her, telling her to call him no matter what the time if John's condition changed, and he left it on the bedspread where he knew she would see it. "Night, Case," he whispered, caressing her hair one last time before going out and shutting the door.


	7. Chapter 7

Casey awoke a few hours later to find the room mostly dark but for the dim light coming from the small lamp on the table. She looked at her watch and saw that it was three in the morning. With a jolt, she realized it had been more than a day since she last talked to John. That had never happened before, at least not since they started dating. Even when he was stuck at work with a case, he would always call for a minute or send her a text message. Now he was silent.

She could not fall asleep again. She knew she really should; she had no court appearances to make that day but there was still a mountain of paperwork to fill out and motions to file. Sleep eluded her, however.

She ran her thumb absently over John's fingers, allowing her mind to drift to their times together.

The two of them had been dancing around each other for months before John finally asked her to dinner. Every time Casey went over John's testimony for court, they both tried to prolong the sessions as much as possible, wanting any excuse to be together. They talked about things other than the cases, and Casey realized that while John was an eccentric conspiracy theorist as he appeared to be, there was a lot more to him.

She loved arguing with him. He was quite liberal and she was relatively moderate, but they still got into heated discussions about many topics. It was enjoyable to pit herself against a man of such undeniable intelligence.

He kissed her after walking her up to her apartment, and she actually felt weak in the knees. It was unlike anything she had ever experienced before.

They continued spending time together, and a few months later John told her that he loved her. She echoed his sentiments, and they made love for the first time. Their fourth time together happened, much to Olivia's shock and amusement when Casey confessed, in the A.D.A.'s office atop her desk.

Now, as Casey sat in the hospital willing her fiancé to come back to her, it was almost a year since John asked her to marry him. She wondered if she would still be his wife. "I'm not old enough to be a widow," she murmured to him, bringing his hand to her lips. She knew if John did die she would not technically be his widow, but they lived together and loved one another…they were practically married.

Her eyes fell on Fin's note and she realized that his coat was covering her. She was amazed it had taken so long for her to notice, and she smiled slightly. "I really am losing it," she said softly to John, and she sighed. Somewhat reluctantly, she reached for the takeout box Fin had brought her and opened it, extracting the sandwich and taking a few bites. She still did not feel hungry, but she had promised him to eat and he was kind enough to leave his coat for her. She owed him.

She forced down half of the sandwich before returning it to the box. It was actually very good; Fin knew what she liked, but chewing and swallowing was more trying than she would have expected.

She sat with John for three more hours before the door opened again and Fin entered. "Hey," he said. "Nothin'?"

"No." She stood, raising her arms over her head and arching her back.

"Damn, girl, you made of rubber?" Fin laughed.

Casey handed him his coat with a smile. "No. And thank you for this." She sighed. "I don't want to leave, but I have to go to work."

"I know. I'll drive you home so you can get ready."

"Thank you." John's mouth was covered by the oxygen mask so she kissed both of his eyelids instead of his lips. "I'll be back later," she whispered. "I love you."

She straightened up, tears threatening to fall from her eyes again, and Fin handed the coat back to her. "Put it on," he said. "It's cold outside."

"You'll be cold. I'm the idiot who wore a coat that looks good but is pretty functionless."

"Do I look cold to you?"

She nodded, smirking. "Ice cold." They both laughed, and Casey gave in. "Fine." She put her arms through the sleeves, keeping her hands inside, and followed Fin into the hall. She paused in the doorway, looking back at John. "Hurry up and come back to me, baby," she said softly, allowing the door to close and remove John from her sight.

They stopped by the nurse's station and Casey requested that someone call her if John's condition worsened or improved. Then they went out to Fin's car. It was snowing lightly which was fairly surprising for late September, but Casey loved it. She watched the flakes dancing in the headlights all the way to her apartment.

Fin walked her to her door. John always did that too, even in broad daylight. It was in their nature as cops to worry, and none of the men of the one-six would even consider letting one of the women walk alone anywhere when it was dark. John had argued many times with Casey about her decision to bike home from work after sunset, but she could not be dissuaded.

Casey opened the door. "Would you like to come in and have some coffee or something? You'd be early to the precinct if you left now."

Fin nodded. "Sure."

She led him inside and to the kitchen. "Make whatever you want. I'm going to go take a shower and get ready. Do you mind?"

"No, go ahead."

"Ok." She draped his coat over the back of the couch on her way to the bathroom. She was already freezing so she elected to take a hot shower, remembering with a jolt how the last time she had been showering John came home.

The thought was enough to make her cry again. She did so silently, not wanting Fin to hear, but she was shaking violently by the time she got out and began to dress.

She chose her clothes carefully, meaning she put on a jacket with short sleeves. After checking to make sure she did not show any signs of having been crying, she went into the kitchen where she found Fin loading two plates with an omelet each and hash browns. She stared at him. "Why do all you detectives have this secret cooking ability? I had no idea John even knew how to turn on an oven and then one day he made me dinner. Don't tell me you guys watch cooking shows together or something in the crib."

Fin smirked, setting a plate in front of her. "Don't tell anyone. Gotta keep my street cred."

"Oh, absolutely. Thank you." She took a bite of the omelet. "I'm impressed."

"Now I'm turnin' all red." He observed her eating for a moment. "And you gotta eat it all or I'm gonna be offended."

"Manipulator." They ate in silence for a few more minutes before Casey said, "Stop feeling guilty, Fin."

He looked at her, apparently surprised that she could tell. "I can't help it," he returned softly, looking down at the table. "I don't like seein' you this way."

"And I don't like seeing _you_ this way."

"Ok, baby, I'll try to stop." He gathered their dishes and put them in the sink. "I gotta go. Thanks for lettin' me crash here awhile."

"What are you thanking me for? You're the one who cooked." She led him to the door and handed him his coat. "Thanks for looking out for me, Fin."

"No problem, baby girl. See ya later."

"Alright. Tell Elliot to have fun on ass duty."

Fin left with a wave and a smile, and Casey closed the door, shutting herself in her apartment with nothing but her worry for company.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Short chap, so I'll update again tonight. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

* * *

Casey worked diligently, taking advantage of the only distraction she could think of. If she allowed herself to start thinking about John, panic descended upon her and she started convincing herself that he would undoubtedly die. Her only hope of staying calm was keeping her mind otherwise occupied.

Her equanimity was greatly tested at lunchtime. She did not take a break, not willing to risk falling apart in front of anyone, but most other people did stop working for a time and there was a lot of movement in the hallway outside her office. She ignored it until someone knocked on her door.

"Come in," she said sharply, hoping to convey that she was busy and did not have time for a long discussion. She did not look up until the person spoke.

"Join me for lunch?"

Her head shot up as she recognized the voice. Neal Gilmore was leaning against the doorframe, smiling cockily at her. "What are you doing here?" she asked coldly, looking back at the motion she was writing.

He pulled up a chair in front of her desk, twirling it around and sitting with his chest against its back, his arms folded across the top. "Giving you another chance to take me up on my offer."

Casey lost what little patience she had for the man. "What, you think I need seventy times seven chances?" She knew her allusion would be lost on him, but she did not care. "I think I've been pretty damn clear in my _numerous_ declinations."

"Who's the guy?"

She glared at him. "You think the only reason I don't want to spend time with you is because there's another guy? Trust me, your personality is reason enough for me to want to avoid you."

"You're wearing an engagement ring."

Her eyes fell to her left hand where it lay clenched on her desk. She always removed the ring in court, thinking it made her look too approachable, but she never bothered when she was just in her office. "Yes, I am," she finally said.

"So who is it?" She did not answer, but then she heard a sharp intake of breath. "It's not…no way."

She glanced up at him and saw that he was staring at the folded newspaper on her desk. There was an article about John's involvement in the shooting. She quickly snatched the paper and dropped it on the floor next to her, but the damage was done.

"Are you kidding me, Casey? How old is he, ninety-five? How the hell did he nail a hot young woman like you?"

"Get out," Casey said icily, fixing him with a look of pure hatred.

"Munch," Gilmore said disbelievingly. He shook his head. "He's not good enough for you."

Casey exploded. "And you are, is that your point?! Detective Munch is an amazing, intelligent man and you have no business commenting on our relationship."

Gilmore rose to his feet, glaring back at her. "If he's so intelligent, how did he wind up in a hospital, on the verge of dying?"

"Right, you're so intelligent that you defend rapists and murderers! If you did his job, you would have been dead long ago."

"Oh, so he is better at taking bullets than I would be?"

"No," Casey replied scathingly. "You would have been the first documented case of someone actually being scared to death." She did not realize that she had gotten to her feet. "Now get out."

With one last look at her, Gilmore left. Casey slammed the door behind him and sank down into her chair, burying her face in the crook of her arm.


	9. Chapter 9

When she finally completed enough work to merit a day in the office, Casey called a taxi and went to the hospital. She was told that John's condition had still not changed. She sighed, discouraged, but the doctor assured her that no change was actually positive. It was not as favorable as an improvement, of course, but it was much better than further difficulty. Casey could not argue with that logic.

Fin, Elliot, Cragen, and Olivia all stopped by to see her and John, but Olivia provided the most comfort. She convinced Casey to accompany her to dinner, claiming that it did no good for Casey to sit alone in the hospital room, worrying and powerless.

Olivia drove them to a restaurant nearby because Casey refused to go more than a block away. She wanted to be close in case the doctors called her.

They sat down and ordered their food, listening to the piano player in the corner for a few minutes before Casey spoke up. "He looks so…old," she said softly, tracing the rim of her glass with her fingertip.

Olivia looked at her in confusion. "Case, you've always known he's got a lot of years on you."

"I know. And I don't care, I really don't…it just scared me." She sighed, staring at the flickering candle in the center of their table. "He never acts old. He's still so strong and…I don't know…able. This is the first time I've ever really considered his mortality, and I'm realizing that even under the best circumstances, we'll probably only have about twenty-five years together. That's hard, but…." She lifted her shining eyes to Olivia. "I want those twenty-five years. With him. Even if it's not a long time." Her voice was shaky.

"I know you do, sweetheart." She briefly squeezed Casey's hand. "I wish I could bring him back for you."

Casey gave a laugh that was more than half a sob. "Me too. I just…I mean, how long can there be no change? Shouldn't _something_ happen? Shouldn't he get better, or…or…?" She could not bring herself to say 'not'.

"I don't know."

Their food came and Casey tried to eat, feeling Olivia's gaze. She actually was hungry by this point, but every time she swallowed the pain in her throat was almost too much to bear. She shook her head, trying to turn the conversation to another topic. "Sorry to be dramatic."

Olivia gave her a look of disbelief. "Casey, you love him. You're not being dramatic."

"Speaking of love," Casey cut in, seizing the opportune subject change, "guess what Elliot told me?"

Olivia paused with her fork halfway to her mouth and Casey detected a flicker of worry in her dark eyes. "What?" she asked with feigned nonchalance.

"He's in love with someone named Olivia Benson. Do you know her?" Casey shrugged. "I hear she's a detective or something like that. I asked him because I saw him making out with someone in his hospital room. I don't know if I'd like her. She seems like the type to keep really really important information from her best friend."

Olivia stared at Casey, trying desperately to hold back a smile. Casey grinned, smartly taking a bite of her chicken. "Yes?" she asked innocently a moment later when Olivia was still struggling for words.

The detective shook her head, smiling. "Spy," she finally muttered, stabbing at a tomato on her plate. Casey laughed as Olivia fixed her with mock glare. "How long have you known?"

"Pretty much since day one, Liv. You can't put one past me."

"I'll never try again. I really am sorry I didn't tell you. We didn't tell anyone. You know, it's so…well, we're breaking a major rule."

Casey nodded. "I understand. But you realize that I'm going to harass you for every detail now, of course."

"Of course."

"Alright." Casey leaned forward. "Sex?"

Olivia laughed. "Amazing."

"On your desks?"

"Interrogation room."

Casey's jaw dropped. "Liv! You told me being with John in my office was risky! You two are absolutely crazy!"

"Crazy in love."

Casey regarded her blankly. After a moment she said, "Pop music reference?"

"Something Lizzie had me listen to."

"Ah." She ate a few bites. It was less painful now. "Good call on the interrogation room. Sounds great." She smiled at Olivia.

"Go for it."

Casey could not help grinning at the idea…John would be absolutely floored. "I will."


	10. Chapter 10

Olivia returned Casey to the hospital where she insisted on spending the night again. John was still unconscious, still pale, but still breathing. That was what Casey concentrated on. She checked her cell phone and saw that she had a message from Fin. He told her to try and sleep and that he would come by for her in the morning. She smiled as she listened, intensely grateful for Olivia and Fin. Their support meant the world to her.

She settled back in the chair, taking John's limp hand once again.

"Hey baby," she said softly, kissing his knuckles. "I miss you. I want to tell you about my newest plans for our wedding. I'm sure you're getting sick of it, but it's my job to be annoying about it. I decided on sea foam green and white for our colors. I know you have no idea what sea foam green is, but you'll like it. I promise." A tear dripped from her eye and splashed on his skin. "You…you j-just have to come back to me."

She cried herself to sleep, not letting go of her fiancé's hand for a moment. She had horrible dreams about John being shot, dying in a pool of his own blood as she bent over him, begging him to hang on, but he died in her arms. She went to his funeral and when she looked into the casket, nothing but a worm-eaten corpse remained of John. Suddenly, the body reached out a hand and grabbed Casey's arm.

She awoke with a cry of horror, breathing hard and feeling tears racing down her cheeks. She tried desperately to catch her breath, looking over at the clock and seeing that it was a little past midnight. She shuddered, still trying to shake off the horrifying image of John's body when she felt pressure on her arm again. Startled, she looked down.

John was awake, and he was gazing at her with tears in his eyes. She fell to her knees on the floor to put herself more at his level and she stared disbelievingly at him. "John," she whispered, reaching out almost timidly to touch his face. He closed his eyes at the contact, then opened them again.

He tried to bring his hand to her face but lacked the strength, so Casey brought it there herself, resting it against her wet cheek. "John," she murmured again, bringing his palm to her lips and kissing it over and over. She could taste her tears on his skin.

She knew she should call the doctor, but she wanted just a moment with John. He could not speak to her, of course, but the look in his eyes was enough. "I love you," she said, kissing his forehead gently and getting to her feet once again. "I'm going to get a doctor. Don't you dare go back to sleep."

She was sure he tried to smile, and she smiled back through the tears that continued to fall from her eyes. She hurried to the nurse's station and alerted them as to John's condition, and John's doctor led Casey back to his room.

He examined John for several minutes before pronouncing himself satisfied with John's improvement. "He'll need to keep the oxygen mask on for a while longer," he informed Casey, making some notes on a clipboard.

A nurse stepped forward with a whiteboard and marker so John could communicate to Casey, and then Casey and John were left alone.

Casey returned to her chair. "You can go to sleep now if you want," she said, so completely elated that he was alright that she could not stop smiling.

He started writing on the board and he held it out to her when he was done. It looked like quite an effort. "No way," he wrote, "not when I haven't seen you in days."

His refusal warmed Casey's heart, but she shook her head. "You need to rest. I want you out of here as soon as possible."

He wrote again. "Oh yeah? Why is that?"

She could almost hear his voice asking her the question in a suggestive tone, and she laughed. "Because I want to make out like there's no tomorrow," she whispered against his ear, "and then you're going to take me in the interrogation room."

His eyes widened and she pulled back. "Don't even bother writing. I know what you'd say. Evil woman. Harlot."

He drew a smiley face to indicate that he would laugh, if he could, which amused Casey to no end. It seemed very junior high of him. His hand was shaky as he wrote, though, and Casey took the marker from him. "Go to sleep. I'll be right here. I have to go to work in the morning, but I'll come back as soon as I can."

He reached for the marker, but she shook her head, knowing what he was going to say by the expression in his eyes. "I love you, too," she said, bringing her lips back to his face and kissing every inch of it that she could. "Now sleep."

He obediently closed his eyes and Casey settled back to sleep after sending a text message to Olivia, Elliot, Fin, and Cragen.

_HE WOKE UP! THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING; I LOVE YOU GUYS!_

_Love, Casey_


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: The song is Possession by Sarah McLachlan. It seemed perfect.

* * *

Casey woke at six again because the door opened, revealing Fin. Before she knew what was happening, he was pulling her to her feet and wrapping his arms around her.

"Why didn't you call me?" he demanded.

"I sent you a text message!"

"Yeah, but it didn't wake me up." He stepped back from her and looked over at John. "So he's gonna be fine?"

Casey smiled happily. It was almost too wonderful for her to believe. "Yeah."

"Good. You wanna wake him up to say bye?"

"Yes." She bent over John and gently stroked his cheek with her thumb, saying, "John."

His eyes opened and he looked at her hazily for a moment before his gaze focused and his eyes lit up. His face had much more color to it than it had a day previously. He looked around for his marker and whiteboard and, locating them, wrote, "Are you going to work?"

Casey nodded. "Yeah. I'll come back when I can. Don't go clubbing or shopping or anything until I get back."

He smiled slightly, as much as he could manage. They both knew she was telling him to keep getting better, not to leave her again. "Ok," he scrawled. "I love you."

"You too, babe." She kissed his cheek and straightened up. "See you later."

He nodded and then looked significantly at Fin. Casey glanced between them. "I'll leave you guys for a few minutes," she said, not knowing what was going on but unconcerned.

"Be out in a sec, baby," Fin told her as she went by and shut the door behind her to give them privacy. She waited only a couple of minutes before Fin joined her in the hallway and they went wordlessly to his car.

Casey's attitude at work could not have been more drastically different from the day before. She was so completely overjoyed that she hardly noticed the hours passing and when she actually looked at the clock to check the time, it was half past one. She thought ruefully of what Fin would say if he knew that she missed lunch again.

As if in answer to her thought, there was a knock on her door. "Come in," she said warily, praying that her visitor would not be Gilmore, back for another round.

The door opened and two delivery boys came in, one with a bag of food and the other with a huge bouquet of flowers. "Casey Novak?" the one with the flowers asked, and she nodded, stunned. He handed her the flowers and the other boy set the bag on her desk, and then they both left.

Casey stood frozen, shocked, for almost a full minute before she noticed the note attached to the flowers.

_I'm so sorry I scared you. When I was in that warehouse,_

_I didn't know if I'd ever see you again, and then I woke up_

_to find you, the most beautiful woman in the world, next to_

_me. The flowers are beautiful, but they're nothing on you._

_I love you._

She blinked the tears out of her eyes and looked at the bouquet. It had all her favorites: lilies, lilacs, tulips, irises, and hyacinths. She quickly placed them in a vase she kept in her office and stared at them for a while before remembering the food. The first thing she saw when she looked inside the bag was another note.

_No more forgetting to eat._

She rolled her eyes, but smiled nonetheless. So that was what Fin and John discussed. John got his partner to arrange for flowers and food to be sent to his fiancée.

The rest of the day did not go nearly as quickly as the morning had. She was preparing a case that she had to argue the next day and as soon as she finished going over her closing argument, she decided to stop working and return to the hospital.

It was nearly eight o'clock by the time she reached John's room. He was asleep, but he woke up as soon as she entered and closed the door.

"Hey," she said softly, returning to her seat. "How're you feeling?"

He continued using the whiteboard to communicate with her. "Ok. Tired of writing."

"You never did like writing up reports for me."

"Anything for you."

"I noticed," she replied with a laugh. "You're the one in the hospital and you're sending _me_ flowers? I love them, by the way. Thank you."

He reached for her with the hand he was not using to write and gently grasped her knee. He rubbed her skin a few times. He wrote, "Do you have a case tomorrow?" She worked latest on nights before she had to appear in court.

"Yeah."

"You should go home and sleep."

"John," she protested, "I'm not leaving you alone here. I was already at work all day. I want to be with you."

"I want you here too, but it's not fair to your complainant if you're not at your best to argue for them. You need to sleep well."

Casey sighed, knowing he was right. "Well, I can stay a while longer, at least."

"Ok."

His eyes kept drifting shut and then he opened them again to look at her. It was as if he was afraid to close his eyes and not see her anymore.

"Don't stay awake on my account."

He took up the marker again and wrote, "Sing for me?"

Casey reddened. She loved singing, and she was very good at it, but she was uncomfortable with an audience. The only reason John even knew she had a great voice was that he had walked in on her singing in her kitchen one day as she cooked. It was something she often did when she was alone, just out of habit, but John never stopped hassling her to sing for him again. "John, I can't."

"Hey, I'm in the hospital. And I sent you flowers and food. You owe me."

She sighed. "John…."

"Please."

She stared at the single word on the board. She could not deny John anything. "Ok," she agreed. "But you have to try and go to sleep."

He nodded and took her hand in his, resting their joined hands on his heart.

Casey took a deep breath to rid herself of nerves and began.

_Listen as the wind blows from across the great divide_

_Voices trapped in yearning, memories trapped in time_

_The night is my companion, and solitude my guide_

_Would I spend forever here and not be satisfied?_

_And I would be the one to hold you down_

_Kiss you so hard I'll take your breath away_

_And after, I'd wipe away the tears_

_Just close your eyes dear_

_Through this world I've stumbled_

_So many times betrayed_

_Trying to find an honest word to find_

_The truth enslaved_

_Oh you speak to me in riddles_

_And you speak to me in rhymes_

_My body aches to breathe your breath_

_Your words keep me alive_

_And I would be the one to hold you down_

_Kiss you so hard I'll take your breath away_

_And after, I'd wipe away the tears_

_Just close your eyes dear_

_Into this night I wander_

_It's morning that I dread_

_Another day of knowing of_

_The path I fear to tread_

_Oh into the sea of waking dreams_

_I follow without pride_

_Nothing stands between us here_

_And I won't be denied_

_And I would be the one to hold you down_

_Kiss you so hard I'll take your breath away_

_And after, I'd wipe away the tears_

_Just close your eyes_

She stayed with John for a few more hours, just watching him, before she did what she promised him she would and went to her apartment.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Really short chap, so I thought I'd put it up today even though I already updated this morning. I'll update again tomorrow, as always. Thank you!

* * *

A few miles away, Fin and Elliot were eating dinner together. Olivia had been tired and declined to go.

"That's so great that John woke up," Elliot said as they sat down.

"I know. If he didn't make it…it'd be like narcotics all over again."

"There sure is this insane amount of guilt when your partner gets hurt.

"Damn straight."

They placed their orders, and then Elliot said, "Are you going to tell Casey?"

Fin shook his head moodily. "Naw. What good would it do? She'd just feel guilty, and it might change our relationship. And I know she's John's. She should be."

"It's got to hurt though…being around her all the time? And you're going to be in the wedding…."

"Hey," Fin shrugged, "it's a chance to see her in a weddin' dress. I just want her to be happy. Same with John. I wouldn't mess that up." He took a drink of his beer. "So what about you and Liv?"

Elliot sort of laughed. "Wow, Casey wasn't kidding. Everyone really does know about us."

"You guys are good cops, but you'd never pan out undercover."

"Olivia was undercover in Oregon," Elliot protested.

"Yeah, but you weren't there."  
"Good point." Elliot sighed. "I don't know what we're going to do. Neither of us wants to quit, obviously, but there's no way we can do all the things we want to if we both stay at the one-six. I mean, we can't secretly date forever. What about getting married?"

"You wanna marry Liv?"

"More than anything. And somehow I don't think Cragen could turn a blind eye to us anymore if we sent him an invitation. IAB would be all over us."

"I guess…one of you could transfer."

The prospect made both of them feel sick. It probably was not a good thing, but the squad was so cohesive that the thought of any one of them not being there was horrible to consider. Almost losing John made it all the more powerfully repellant.

"Yeah," Elliot finally said without any conviction. One of them transferring was pretty much out of the question. He chuckled humorlessly. "Wasn't all this relationship shit supposed to work itself out after high school?"

"That's what I expected too. But it's like the only way it could work out now, for us in this job, is to break rules. John and Casey are perfect. They both get the time constraints and the danger…all of it. They accept it and work with it. But then your wife couldn't handle you bein' away, and mine couldn't either. Liv could, because she's doin' the same thing, but she's off-limits."

"It sucks," Elliot agreed, taking a swig of his beer and sighing heavily.

The talk turned to the lighter subject of sports, and they argued good-naturedly about their teams until they finished eating.

Fin walked to his apartment since it was only a few blocks away, his head full of Casey. It was good, amazing, to see her so happy again now that John was recovering. He just wished the situation could be different. He wished he could be the one making Casey happy. He wished she could return his love without hurting John. He wished that the first woman he ever truly loved was not already taken.


	13. Chapter 13

The first day of the trial Casey was working went very well, and she was grateful to John for convincing her to rest and be fully prepared to argue. She left the courthouse at the end of the day, intending to stop by the precinct to check on Elliot before going to see John, but she changed her mind as a result of the phone call she received as she went down the stone steps in the fading daylight.

She flipped her phone open. "Casey Novak."

"Is your refrigerator running?"

She almost dropped her briefcase and the phone. "John!"

His voice was hoarse from disuse and he sounded weak, but he was talking to her…which meant he was off the oxygen. He was still getting better. "Do you have Prince Albert in a can?"

She rolled her eyes as she hurriedly flagged down a taxi. "Do you want me to slap you or make out with you?"

"The latter."

"Then stop acting like an idiot. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

She could hardly breathe all the way to the hospital. It would be so wonderful to see him and hear him at once…to be able to kiss his lips again. She went to his room and quickly as she could considering her high-heeled shoes, and she pulled the door open.

His torso was slightly elevated, but not enough to cause any constriction on his chest cavity. He was smiling at her, and that simple sight was enough to make her run to his side, dropping her briefcase along the way.

She sat level with his waist and bent to kiss him without giving either of them the chance to speak first. She pressed her lips to his as forcefully as she dared, concerned about hurting him. When he whispered "Casey" against her mouth, however, she could not stop herself from deepening the kiss.

She was not sure how long it lasted, but they had quite a bit of lost time to make up for. When Casey finally pulled away she was breathing hard, as was John.  
"Sorry," she said softly, resting her hand on his chest and feeling it rise and fall.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "I just got what I've been dreaming about for days. Why are you sorry?"

"I bet breathing hurts anyway, and I just made you work out."

"I can take the pain."

"Tough guy." She smiled at him, caressing his cheek. "Did they say how much longer you're stuck here?"

"Two days."

Casey was shocked. "That's amazing! I can't believe it's so soon."

"Well, I'll still have to be on bed rest. No going back to the precinct just yet."

"Of course not."

He smiled. "You won't mind having an invalid around the house for a while?"

She waved her hand dismissively. "I can take anything you throw at me."

"I'm glad." He paused for a minute, just looking at her. "God, you're so beautiful, Case." He ran his thumb along her jaw and down her throat. "Get down here," he said softly, indicating the space on the bed next to him.

She obediently lay down on her side, resting her head on her arm so she could look at John. She could not stop smiling. "You know what's in five weeks, John?"

He pretended to look thoughtful. "Jay-Z's new album drops?"

"No."

"Oh! The regional dart tournament!"

"Three strikes and I'm going to kick your ass, you bastard."

John smiled, bringing her left hand to his lips and kissing the knuckle of her ring finger. "I'm getting married to the most amazing, breathtaking woman in the world."

"Good answer," she murmured, shifting slightly so she could kiss him again. She touched her lips to his temple, his ear, and his neck before returning to her previous position. "I love you, baby," she whispered, starting to cry somewhat inexplicably.

"Hey," John said, putting his finger to her lips, "it's ok. I love you, too." His eyes drifted closed. He was obviously still tired, but he managed to say, "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Casey let out a breath. The pain of watching John almost die was more horrible than anything she had ever experienced, and she never wanted him to endure the same fear and grief. "If I have anything to do with it, you won't ever have to find out."

* * *

A/N: The wedding is coming up! Yay! I'm not sure exactly how much longer this is going to be...I have three more chapters after this one already written, and then there are two more specific things I want to happen, so we'll see. Maybe it will be around twenty.


	14. Chapter 14

John's recovery progressed slowly, but after a month of recuperation he was almost back to normal. He returned to work, on restricted duty until after his wedding, an event that could not come fast enough for him.

The morning of the ceremony was cloudy, just as Casey had hoped it would be. She and John ate breakfast together before Olivia and Melinda came by to help her get ready. They banished John to Elliot's apartment where all the men were.

John was too distracted to notice the sad expression that was almost permanently etched on Fin's face when he thought no one was looking, or the pitying glances Elliot kept sending him. John's head was full of nothing but Casey. He could hardly wait to see her in her white dress, to take her hands in his, to kiss her and bind himself to her for the rest of their lives.

He shivered whenever he thought about close the wedding had come to never happening. He had almost left Casey alone, abandoned her. He never wanted to hurt her again.

"How are you nervous, John? You're an old hand at this," Cragen joked, clapping the detective on the shoulder. The captain would be giving Casey away, as both of her parents were dead. Casey had once admitted to John that it might be better that way. Neither of them would have given her their blessing to marry a man twice her age.

John tried to laugh, but it got caught in his throat. "I've never cared this much."

The men passed the time however they could, talking idly and drinking coffee. They all knew that the women would take much longer to get ready; indeed, they would probably be preparing until the very last moment. John glanced at the clock. The wedding would begin in an hour.

Fifteen minutes later, they set out for the church. Casey had wanted their wedding to be outside but John changed her mind. She was dead-set on a November wedding, and he reminded her that while she would be ecstatic to be caught in the rain or snow as she got married, her guests would be less than thrilled. She conceded with a laugh, but informed him that they were going to have sex outside their first time as husband and wife, no matter what the weather was.

He found himself smirking and Fin looked over from the driver's side. "What's up, man?"

John shrugged. "Just thinking. This is really happening. I'm really marrying Casey."

"Congrats, John. Seriously."

"Thanks."

Fin parked the car and he, John, Elliot, and Cragen entered the church. They waited another fifteen minutes before John went to stand by the minister. He took a deep breath as a string quartet started playing Pachelbel's Canon. Casey hated the wedding march and refused to have it played. John agreed. He could not hear violin music without thinking of Casey. It was perfect.

First came Olivia on Fin's arm. Olivia's dress was sea foam green silk, and Fin wore a black suit with a white shirt and green tie. Next were Melinda and Elliot, dressed identically as the two detectives in front of them. John smiled at his two friends, his two brothers, as they took their places beside him. He noticed Elliot mouth to Olivia that he loved her, and his smile grew.

The minister raised his hands for all the guests to rise and John stopped breathing. This was it.

Casey stepped into view, her arm linked with Cragen's and her hand clasped in his. Her hair cascaded over her shoulders in soft waves and even from that distance he could see her arresting green eyes that froze him in place with their intensity and love.

The bodice of her gown was beaded lace and the skirt was accented with lace. He could see her engagement ring sparkling on her finger. She absolutely looked like a princess.

Her journey down the aisle seemed to last a lifetime, yet before John knew it she was standing in front of him and Cragen was placing her hand in John's. Cragen kissed Casey's cheek and smiled at John before taking a seat between Elizabeth Donnelly and George Huang.

The smile that graced Casey's face was one of the most genuine John had ever seen. There was no trace of irony, of sarcasm, of joking. He loved her sense of humor, but the look of unadulterated joy was more beautiful than anything he had ever seen. John stared at Casey, and she back at him, for a few seconds that lasted a lifetime before the minister began.

"Dearly beloved…."


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: I decided against doing the whole wedding. Sorry if anyone is disappointed, but I thought it would get tedious. We all know what the minister would say, and I just don't feel like there's anything new or plot-driving. It's looking like there will be nineteen chapters. Oh, and I decided they would have a regular wedding even though John's Jewish. I don't think of weddings as inherently religious ceremonies, even though I guess they kind of are. Anyway, John is only nominally Jewish, so I figured he wouldn't care.

* * *

The wedding reception lasted well into the evening. John and Casey were congratulated over and over, both on their marriage and on John's recovery. He was obviously still slightly weak, but his happiness was more than enough to keep him going.

John danced with Olivia, Melinda, Elizabeth, and of course, Casey. She likewise danced with all of her friends: Elliot, Cragen, Huang, Arthur Branch, and Fin. The smile on his face when he returned Casey to her husband was nothing less than heartfelt, and Elliot patted him on the back. It had been a difficult day for him, and he handled it admirably. No one would guess that he was harboring love for the bride if they did not know him well.

Before leaving with Elliot, Olivia pulled Casey aside and hugged her. "Congratulations, sweetheart," she said, kissing her cheek.

Casey pulled back. "Thank you. I have to remember to thank Branch for making me stick with SVU. Can you imagine if I quit after that first case?"

"I don't even want to think about it." She raised her eyebrows at Casey. "So…interrogation room tonight?"

Casey laughed. "Not yet. I think it would be slightly suspicious if Don found out. I don't particularly want him knowing where John and I have sex."

"Good point." Olivia hugged Casey again. "Have fun," she said suggestively, and Casey rolled her eyes. She went off with John, leaving Olivia behind.

Olivia felt Elliot's arms wrap around her waist and she sighed, leaning into him. "She's so happy," she said softly, smiling at the sight of her best friend kissing John under the stars.

"They both are," Elliot said, kissing her neck. "You ready to head home?"

Olivia shook her head. "Let's go to the pond."

There was a pond in a small park near her apartment where she and Elliot often sat for hours at a time, just being together after a long day at work. Olivia liked to go there when she was sad, and as happy as she was for Casey and John, she could not help feeling depressed.

She and Elliot lay on a blanket on the edge of the water, looking up at the sky. Her head was pillowed on his chest, and he ran his fingers absently through her hair.

"You looked beautiful today," he whispered, kissing the top of her head.

"Casey picked good colors."

"Yeah, I liked the green." He sighed, kissing her again. "I know today was hard for you, Liv."

She bit her lip, trying not to cry. "I'm not trying to take attention away from Casey on her day…."

"I know that. You didn't."

Olivia nodded. "Yeah…it's just that…I'm ten years older than her, and I've always been alone. Now I'm not, finally, but there's nothing we can do about it." Tears finally escaped from her eyes and trickled down her skin and into her hair. "I want to get married, El," she whispered.

"I know you do, baby. I do, too."

"Why does there have to be this rule? There's no way we could keep it a secret. Cragen's already looking the other way for us. How long can we go on like this?" She turned onto her stomach and buried her face in Elliot's chest, breathing in the smell of his cologne and body wash. "I don't want to hide anymore."

She knew Elliot did not have any answers, and she never truly expected him to. The feeling of his fingertips on her back was enough to stop her tears but not to get rid of the weight in her stomach. The bitterness was eating away at her. All her life, she had waited and prayed for someone to love her. Someone who would never leave her, someone who would protect her. Someone who would not hurt her. She finally found him, but it still could not work. She could still not have the perfect relationship she wanted.

"I love you, Elliot," she said as she kissed him directly over his heart.

"I love you too, Liv," he said, pulling her up to him. "We'll figure something out."

JCEOJCEOJCEOJCEO

A few miles away, Fin nodded at the bartender who poured him yet another drink. He stared at the amber liquid, his spinning head morphing it into Casey's hair. She had looked so breathtakingly beautiful.

His tie hung loose around his neck, its color reminding him painfully of Casey's eyes…eyes that would never look at him the way he wished they would. He threw back his head, his eyes watering at the burning sensation the liquor created in his throat.

Or at least that's what he told himself as he wiped his eyes on the back of his hand.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: I couldn't sleep last night so I finished this story. There will be twenty chapters. I'm so proud of myself; I seem to have been stuck in the sixteen/seventeen area for a long time.

* * *

Casey and John drove to Cragen's beach house which he lent to them for a long weekend. Casey had a case that desperately needed her attention so their honeymoon could not be very long, or very exotic, but as they stepped onto the cold sand and stared up at the stars, it did not seem to matter very much.

John lit a fire in a ring of stones on the beach. The area was very secluded; Cragen's cabin was the only one for miles.

Casey shivered, unable to stop smiling. She waited until John finished with the fire and stood, coming to her and wrapping her in his arms. "I can't believe it," he said softly, running his hand over her hair. It felt different. Her hand felt different, the touch of her lips felt different…because she was finally his wife.

"Me neither." She allowed John to rock her from side to side, swaying to the music of the waves crashing onto the rocky shore. She leaned back to look at him. "So am I your favorite wife ever?"

He glared good-naturedly at her, but only for a few seconds. Then his gaze softened and he reached out, stroking a section of her hair that had fallen across her face. "You're my favorite _person_ ever," he said.

"I'm so glad you're ok. I didn't think today would come when I saw you in the hospital."

"I couldn't leave you."

"Good." She brought her lips to his, rising up on her toes to reach him. Her fingers came to the zipper on the jacket he had thrown on along with some pants when they reached the cabin. "This is going to be cold," she warned him, pulling the zipper down and dropping the jacket onto the ground.

"I thought that was the point."

"It is."

He pulled her to him, holding her against his bare chest. She could feel his heart beating and the sensation made her smile. He carefully lowered her onto her back on the blanket she had spread out as he built the fire.

"I love you," he said, lifting her sweatshirt over her head and kissing her deeply as soon as the garment was cast aside. She trembled slightly as he brought his lips to the hollow of her throat, and he covered her body with his to keep her warm. "This was your idea," he murmured with a grin as she shivered again.

"Hey, I'm not complaining." She pushed his pants down his legs and he did the same with hers, pausing when he saw that she was still wearing her garter.

"What's this?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Take it off," she said simply, a smile playing at her lips.

He complied, resting his hands on either side of her waist and seizing the lace band with his teeth. He could not resist kissing the inside of her thigh. He heard her breath hitch.

"John," she whispered.

He pulled the band all the way down her leg and set it to one side, returning his lips to her smooth skin and kissing his way up her body.

"Get up here," she ordered weakly, and he knew better than to argue. After all, they had the rest of their lives.

He pressed his lips to hers again, feeling her fingers moving lightly across his chest before they stopped on the scar from his bullet wound. He pulled back, looking into her eyes. They were shining, and she looked like she was about to cry.

"Don't think about it," he said, moving her hand from the red circle to his heart. "I'm here with you, and I'm not going anywhere."

"Ok." She took a deep breath, letting it out as he entered her for the first time since his injury. "I missed you," she said softly, closing her eyes as he began moving over her.

"You too."

They moved together, sighing their love for one another, until the sun came up and bathed their sleeping, entwined bodies in golden light.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Ok, I'm updating a lot. Like, excessively. But I figure no one really minds. It's just that these chapters are burning a hole in my pocket, if that makes sense. I want to get the whole story out, partially because I've decided to do a perspective story on Casey! Yay! I'm so excited because I'm going to do POVs from more minor characters like Branch and Donnelly and Mary Conway Clark and stuff. Woohoo! Anyway, I'll update again tomorrow because I'm just amazing like that. HOO-rah, baby.

* * *

Casey and John's weekend ended too soon, and they returned to their respective jobs. Their time together was absolutely wonderful, however, and they could not ask for anything better. It had been perfect.

Fin looked up from his desk as John came into the precinct. It would have been the older man's first day of active duty but both he and Fin had to testify in a trial Casey was working. Just before John's injury, the two of them had kicked down a door after hearing a woman's screams and found a man, Liam Rosswell, naked and poised as if to stab the stripped victim. He refused to admit to a rape, even though it had been exceedingly obvious. However, the lab had turned up no fluids and no trauma that could not be explained away by the fact that Lori Abrams had sex with her husband hours before the attack.

John sat in his chair and pulled a newspaper to him, glancing idly at a few headlines before throwing it back on his desk. Fin grinned at him. "Good weekend?" he deadpanned.

John pushed his glasses up his nose, taking the paper in his hands again. "Screw you," he said, but Fin could tell he was smiling. He shook his head, likewise smiling. He was glad to see his partner so happy, and he was also thankful that his hangover was completely gone. He could not remember the last time he drank that much.

Elliot and Olivia came in, joking with John about how bored he must have been over the workless weekend, and he just rolled his eyes. When they had gone off to make some coffee, he lowered the paper once more. "Did you know that Gilmore bastard is the opposing counsel?"

Fin groaned. "I hate that guy. He was there when I went to the courthouse to tell Casey you were hurt."

John's expression saddened. "I didn't think about who told her." He looked tired. "Thanks. I'm sure it was best coming from you."

"It couldn't be good comin' from anyone, but I hope I did ok." He shrugged.

"I'm sure you did." He glanced at his watch. "Gilmore is always asking Casey out."

"Ah, I didn't need another reason to hate him."

"Trust me," John said, getting to his feet, "I could enumerate a whole host of reasons for you to hate him, but we've got to be at the courthouse."

Fin drove, as always, and they both sat to wait for Casey to call them. Fin thought she looked beautiful. He loved watching her stick it to chauvinists who had no respect for women. It was quite a show when she cross-examined. It was not every day he got to see rapists cowering as Casey cut them down.

"The prosecution calls Detective John Munch."

John went and took his seat. Casey swore him in, and began questioning him about the day of the attack- why he and Fin were in the building, why they entered the apartment without a search warrant, and what they saw upon entering. Fin was impressed at how flawlessly they maintained an air of professional courtesy. No one would guess they were married.

Casey finished with John, and Gilmore rose to take her place. Fin saw a flicker of hatred in John's eyes when Gilmore's eyes roved over Casey as she took her seat.

"Detective Munch," Gilmore began pompously, "I believe the rape kit was completely inconclusive?"

"Yes."

"You admit that you have no basis for calling this a rape?"

John raised his eyebrows. "On the contrary. Rape kits only prove that a sexual act took place. The burden of proof is, generally, finding evidence to suggest that the act was forcible. From what my partner and I observed, there is absolutely no question that this was a rape."

"No question? And yet you did not actually _observe_ my client raping Ms. Abrams?"

"_Mrs._ Abrams was beneath the defendant, screaming for him to stop. Neither of them was dressed. It was clear that a rape had occurred."

"How do you know, Detective Munch, that my client did not enter the apartment, just as you did, to help a screaming woman? Isn't it possible that she was raped and my client entered just before you? She was so traumatized, of course, that she did not realize that the real rapist had fled."

John stared at him, and Fin could tell that he actually wanted to laugh. Instead, he merely replied, "I think it unlikely that a naked man with a bloody knife was in the apartment, on top of the victim, as a Good Samaritan."

"Unlikely," Gilmore said, raising his finger and looking impressively at the jury, "but not impossible."

"Objection," Casey said, getting to her feet. "Is there a question?"

Gilmore turned and gave her a mocking smile. "Do you deny," he said, turning back to John, "that it is entirely possible that my client was trying to help?"

"He was inches away from stabbing her when my partner pulled him up," John cut in. "It is _impossible_ that he happened upon her, inexplicably naked, pinned her down, and took up the discarded weapon of the _actual_ rapist and proceeded to wield the knife against her, all just to help." He glared at Gilmore. "He raped her."

Gilmore stared back at John for several seconds. Fin could feel the hatred that was thick in the air between them. Gilmore glanced at Casey again, then said to John, "Detective, are you an easily manipulated man?"

"Objection. Relevance?"

Judge Donnelly looked between them. "I'll allow it. But get to your point, Counselor."

Gilmore nodded, and waited for John to answer.

"No," John said.

"Not easily coerced?"

"I believe he answered the question, Mr. Gilmore," the judge said sternly.

Gilmore inclined his head again. "So you were not influenced in your testimony?"

Fin froze. He knew what Gilmore was getting at, even though John still looked merely annoyed. He would be livid once he saw where the question was leading. John's eyes narrowed at the insinuation. "No."

"Despite the fact that you are married to Assistant District Attorney Novak?"

There was an immediate surge of mumbling among the spectators and Casey jumped to her feet. "Objection!" she shouted, and Donnelly banged the gavel several times.

"Order! Order!" She turned to the jurors. "The jury is to disregard that last statement." She looked back at Gilmore and Casey. "My chambers. Now."

JCJCJCJCJCJCJCJCJCJC

Donnelly was positively fuming. "Mr. Gilmore, you have absolutely no cause to bring Ms. Novak's personal life into the courtroom, nor that of Detective Munch."

"Don't you mean Mrs. Munch?" he asked snidely, and the judge turned to him, giving him a look of pure venom.

"_Do not mock me_," she said dangerously, glaring him into silence from mere inches away. "They have kept their relationship out of the courtroom and been completely professional, something you obviously have no experience in. Do _not_ mention it again or you will be found in contempt of this court."

Gilmore pressed on. "Married people are not unbiased, your honor. There's a reason spouses cannot testify against one another. They can't be trusted to be completely forthcoming."

"Your honor," Casey snapped, her anger directed at Gilmore, not Donnelly, "Detective Munch has always been a man of upstanding moral character. I see no reason marriage would change that and turn him into a liar." She was white with rage.

Donnelly nodded at her. "I know, Casey," she said softly. She turned her eyes to Gilmore once again. "Do not try my patience again," she said coldly, and stalked out of the room.

Gilmore allowed Casey to go before him with a condescending bow. As she passed by him, she heard him say, "Nice skirt."


	18. Chapter 18

Gilmore seemed to have run out of steam with John and asked no further questions. Casey, however, looked troubled and somewhat shaky. It was strange to see her unnerved, and Fin felt his hatred for Gilmore increase tenfold. Casey called Fin to the stand and as he passed John, the older man said, "Tear him apart."

Fin answered Casey's questions completely and carefully, knowing that his corroboration was especially important now that Gilmore had cast doubt on John's credibility. Casey sat again when she had finished, and Fin saw her hands creep into her sleeves. It broke his heart to see her so upset.

"Detective Tut-you-oh-_la_," Gilmore began, and Fin could hardly stop from rolling his eyes. Gilmore had sunk so low as to heckle his last name.

"Too-too-_oh_-la," he corrected icily.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. What is that, Swahili?"

Before Casey even had the chance to object at the obviously irrelevant line of questioning, Judge Donnelly spoke up. "This is not the time for a linguistics lesson. Get on with it."

"Detective," he continued, as though he had not just been acting like an idiot, "did it occur to you that perhaps my client had another reason for being undressed that day?"

Fin stared at Gilmore. "Five miles from his apartment in a buildin' where we couldn't find anyone who had seen him before? There was no other reason."

"You can't know that for sure. Someone in the building must have lied to you about seeing him. My client had no motive for rape, no prior violent acts to suggest a pattern of behavior."

"Why would anyone lie about seein' a strange naked man?"

"I'll ask the questions, Detective."

"Then do. I'll do the testifyin'."

There was an appreciative chuckle from the spectators, and Donnelly did not sound angry when she said, "Detective."

Fin chanced a glance at Casey. Her hands were still hidden in her sleeves.

"Have you ever been accused of planting evidence, Detective Tutuola?"

"Not as many times as you've been accused of bein' a liar, and not as accurately."

"Your honor!" Gilmore interrupted.

"Easy, Detective. Just answer the question."

Fin clasped his hands in front of him. "The accusation was dropped."

"So you planted no evidence in this case?"

Fin shook his head. "There would have been no evidence to plant. He was holdin' the weapon, and my partner and I have both said the rape kit was negative. Unless you're suggestin' we planted the defendant in the apartment?"

There was another titter, and Gilmore reddened. "Your honor!"

"It was your question, Mr. Gilmore. Try to ask one with substance, or let this witness go."

Gilmore opened his mouth several times, but was unable to think of another question. "Nothing further," he said coldly, taking his seat and looking irate.

"This witness is dismissed," Donnelly said.

"The prosecution rests, your honor," Casey said as she got to her feet.

"Alright, we'll recess until nine tomorrow morning." She banged the gavel once and retreated to her chambers as Casey started gathering her papers. She slammed her briefcase shut and walked out the door, her head held high.

Fin and John followed her at a safe distance all the way to her office where they could not be overheard or seen. John opened the door without knocking and the two men saw Casey slumped in her chair, her hand over her eyes.

"Damn it," she whispered.

John and Fin pulled up chairs and sat across from her. "The jury hates him, and there's no way they'll buy the excuse that Rosswell went in to help."

"Juries buy all kinds of nonsense." She sighed, shaking her head. "Oh well. I guess all I can do is crucify him tomorrow." She smiled at them, laughing slightly. "Liz was so mad."

"I bet," Fin said, and John nodded his agreement. After a moment, Fin said, "You should wear short sleeves tomorrow."

Casey stared at him. "Does everyone know my nervous habit?"

"No," John assured her, "just us."

She shrugged. "Yeah. I should. I should also get a longer skirt."

John reddened, and Fin glanced at him in confusion. "He made another comment about it?" John demanded, and Casey nodded. "Bastard," he muttered. He rolled his head from one shoulder to the other, standing up. "We'd better get back."

Casey likewise stood and went around the desk to him. "See you tonight."

"Alright. I love you. You did great."

"Thanks."

They kissed, and Fin felt the sadness flair up inside him again.

Casey came to him and hugged him. "Thanks for making fun of him," she said, and he could hear her smiling.

"No problem, baby. Nobody messes with my girl."

John laughed. "At least you didn't call her your Catholic. Your Jew and your Catholic. What a pair."

Casey pulled back from Fin but not before kissing his cheek. "Get out of here," she said, holding the door open for them. "Be careful."

"We will be," John said, and the two men set off down the hall.

The spot where Casey's lips had touched Fin's skin was tingling. He sighed, earning him a questioning look from John which he ignored. She might not be his wife, but she would always be his friend, his girl. His 'kick ass' Casey Novak. It was not what he wanted, but it was still good.


	19. Chapter 19

It was a slow afternoon so Fin perused some books and the internet, looking desperately for something, anything to prove that he was right…or at least he hoped not to find anything proving him wrong. The latter ended up happening, but it was good enough for him. He jumped to his feet and went to Cragen's office.

"Cap?"

"What is it, Fin?"

Fin dropped a large, heavy volume on Cragen's desk. It landed with a sharp bang that made the captain jump, and he looked curiously at Fin.

Fin pointed to a paragraph, and Cragen read it, his eyes widening. "I just assumed…."

"Me too. We all did. But…well, why not?"

Cragen regarded him. "So are you saying…switch?"

"Yeah. Just switch junior partners. I'll go with Elliot. Liv'll go with John." He waited on tenterhooks for the captain's response. He hoped it would all work out, and two more people would be happy.

Cragen paused for a few minutes, apparently deep in thought. After a time, he shrugged. "I don't see why not." A small smile passed over his face, and Fin knew he was just as happy about the prospect as the detective was. He wanted to see his kids get everything they wanted. Cragen nodded at the door, and Fin opened it. "Detectives! In here, all of you."

Olivia and Elliot glanced at each other, looking confused, and followed John into the office. He was equally perplexed. Cragen's tone was such that they knew there was no new case.

"What's up, Cap?" Elliot asked.

Cragen smiled. "I've looked the other way, and now I don't have to anymore."

They all exchanged glances, but it was John who first understood. He caught Fin's eye, looking incredulous was happy. Fin nodded at him. He would be sad to no longer be partnered with his best friend, but at the one-six, it did not seem to matter. They were a team, all of them. It hardly mattered who was partners with whom, except to the IAB.

Cragen spun the book around and indicated the passage Fin had showed him. "Partners may not have a romantic relationship, but it says nothing about members of the same squad."

Olivia's jaw dropped slightly, and Fin smiled at her reaction. He loved to see his sister so happy, and Elliot's face was priceless. He looked like he had just seen God. "Cap, are you serious?"

"Yes. Elliot, you'll be with Fin now. John, you and Olivia."

Olivia turned to Fin and threw her arms around his neck. "Fin! Thank you!"

"Anything for you, baby." He let her go and she turned to Elliot, kissing him deeply.

Cragen cleared his throat while John and Fin just smirked. "That does not mean anything around here is going to change," the captain said sternly, but his eyes were twinkling. "This is still our place of business and if I have to put up posters about public displays of affection, I will."

He got to his feet, surveying his detectives and finally letting his eyes rest on Olivia. "On the other hand," he said, "I won't be complaining if I have to walk someone else down the aisle."

He smiled at them, and sent them out of his office. "I'm sure you all have some paperwork to be doing."

Elliot was waiting for Fin by his desk. "What, are you going for sainthood or something?" he asked, apropos of Fin's latest charitable act and the fact that he was so supportive of Casey and John despite being in love with her.

Fin shrugged. "We gotta keep us all together. We're family."

Elliot grasped his shoulder, his eyes shining. "Thanks, Fin."


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Here it is! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I hope to get the first chapter of my Casey POV story up soon, and at some point I have yet another JC angst story (what a surprise), so I will start writing that soon too. I'd love to hear what you think of this chapter or the whole story! Thanks!

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Casey won the trial. The jury convicted Rosswell on the counts of rape in the first degree and burglary. He would be sentenced the next day, and Casey intended to recommend the harshest punishment allowable by law.

She went back to her apartment at the conclusion of the trial and took a shower, putting on some jeans and a sweatshirt. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. The look on Gilmore's face as the jury foreperson announced the verdict was a sight to behold. Casey could not wait to tell John and Fin.

She turned on the television for background noise while she set about making dinner for herself and John. She had no idea what time he would get home, but she had heard nothing to suggest he would not be there for dinner. He always called or something if he was going to be stuck.

Casey glanced at the clock. It was five-thirty. John would probably return by six, which left her just enough time to make pasta and salad. It was simple, but one of John's favorite meals. She laughed at herself a little, acting all domestic. It did seem very unlike her to cook and clean for her husband, but when it came to John, there was nothing she would not do for him. Beyond that, he constantly surprised her by cooking or sending her gifts at work. They acted like a couple of love struck college students. It was wonderful.

Taking some bread out of the freezer and turning on the broiler, Casey overheard the newscaster say, "Today we mourn one of New York's finest who was killed in the line of duty."

She stiffened, as she always did when she heard news like that. It was a terrible tragedy, and no one in the criminal justice system was unaffected by the death of one of their fellows, even if they had never met. She walked into the living room to watch the report.

"Neither his name nor his precinct is being disclosed at this time, but we can tell you that he was a detective with the NYPD for eight years after many years of service in Baltimore. His currently unnamed captain gave a statement…."

Casey froze. She felt like her brain could not work fast enough. John…John worked in Baltimore. He was a detective whose boss was a captain. He had been with the NYPD for…how many years was it? Her slow, panicky brain would not let her do the math. All she could see was John's face as he lay in the hospital, as he died in her nightmares….

She collapsed onto the couch, grabbing her cell phone and dialing the number that she knew better than her own. "We're sorry. The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected." She called again. And again. Seven times, before her hands were too shaky to hit the redial button any more.

"…chasing a suspect with a hostage. The detective reportedly gave his life to save the woman…."

Casey got weakly to her feet, grabbing her keys blindly, for she could not see through her tears. She ran out the door. She would go to the one-six and then…she had no idea. She just had to go.

Racing around two corners and down the steps, her tears freezing on her face, Casey saw nothing and felt nothing but horror…until she almost ran into someone.

"Sorry," she muttered absently before realizing, her heart falling into her stomach, that it was John. "Oh my God," she said weakly, falling into his arms and sobbing with her face buried in his shoulder.

"Casey," he murmured, obviously confused and concerned, but he said nothing else.

Casey felt like she might pass out; her heart was beating so fast. She could not seem to catch her breath. All she could do, and all she wanted to do, was hold onto John with all her might and never break contact again.

"Come on," he said gently, and he half-carried, half-supported her all the way back to her apartment where he let them both in and locked the door. "Ok, now what's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Just don't let me go," she whispered, sinking onto the couch. Suddenly her eyes widened. "The oven."

"I'll get it." He went into the kitchen and returned quickly, undoubtedly aware the Casey did not want him out of her sight, though he did not know why.

Casey took his arms and pulled him down on top of her, feeling his weight and his heartbeat. She continued breathing hard, struggling against her tears, but at least her pulse was back to normal. John was alright. He was alive.

"What happened, Case?"

She did not let go of him, but said into his shoulder, "A detective got killed. He used to work in Baltimore, and…and they wouldn't name him. I thought…I thought…."

She felt John's arms tighten around her and he started kissing every part of her he could reach: her clavicle, her throat, her neck, her ears, her jaw. "Oh, Casey," he said sadly. "Casey."

"Do you know him?" she asked with difficulty, still having a hard time forming sentences.

"Yeah. It was Paul Robinson."

"I'm sorry."

"Casey." He pulled back so he could reach her lips and she kissed him passionately, unable to press herself to him as hard as she wanted. She was desperate to feel the pressure of his mouth on hers. It was like she could not breathe for needing him so much. He understood her wordless plea and attacked her mouth with his.

Her heart starting pumping again, but for an entirely different and more welcome reason. "What the hell happened to your phone?" she asked with a small smile, stroking his face and staring into his eyes that were, mercifully, still open. Still alive.

"Fell into the Hudson today."

"Are you serious?"

"Absolutely. It's quite the story. I'll tell you later." He climbed to his feet, pulling her up after him. "Let me help you finish dinner."

"Ok." She took his hand and they went into the kitchen. "Sorry to knock you over down there."

He looked at her over his glasses. "I'll catch you any day."

Tears filled her eyes again, and John brought his forehead to hers, his hand on the back of her neck. "Hey," he said, gently massaging her tense muscles, "I'm not leaving you again. Remember? I promised."

Casey smiled, closing her eyes. "I'm going to hold you to it," she whispered, taking his hands in hers and kissing her husband until he was pushed up against the wall and could not have possibly escaped. Not that he wanted to.


End file.
